Finding your breaking point
by macaronisofa
Summary: Batman and Joker are captured by a deranged doctor. When they find themselves in some dire circumstances, can they trust each other? This time, Joker really will see Batman's breaking point. Rated M for violence, language, batman/joker.
1. Prolouge and Batman thoughts on Joker

PROLOUGE

Joker POV

"I'm going to uh, _need_ that _uniform_, miss." I said sweetly, adding a killer smile. She looked at me funny, and I frowned. I sighed loudly, and dramatically, then frowned and squinted. "Listen _bitch,_ just give me the damned _suit!"_ I growled, getting to the point that I might just kill her first and take the suit by _force. _I giggled at the pleasant mental picture.

The lady began to shake, quaking at the sight of my towering frame, (quite a lot_ taller_ than hers) and my loud voice (More a_nnoying_ than loud! Hahaha). She began to quickly undress, but then suddenly stopped, and glared at me. I stared back.

She glared.

I stared.

"OH!" I suddenly felt like a total pervert. "_Sorry!_ Oh, uh," I licked my lips, and put my hands up in diffence, my fingers twitching rythmically, "I'm _not_ a rapist-just to let you know." I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing. _Me? _A _rapist?_ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah _RIGHT! That would be foul. _I quickly spun around facing a wall why the young woman took off her business skirt and blouse. I found quite an interesting picture on the wall, and imagined it splattered with blood, and the man in the frame with the same face as me. A blood red smile, and large black eyes.

I sighed, and spun back around, only to find the small woman in her underwear and wearing a pair of high heels. I smirked. "AH-TA-TA-TA-TA!" I smiled fully now, looking down at her shoes, and then looking back at her face. "Shoes toooo!" I said cheerfully, practically bouncing in my shoes. She undid her shoes, and handed them over. "Thank_ yoooou_! Now,_ here's_ _the suprise_!" I giggled, almost bursting with laughter.

Then I pulled a pistol and shot her.

"**_HAHAHAHAHAHA_**!" I began to laugh hysterically.

Laugh at her face.

Laugh at the blood.

Laugh at everything.

It was all so _funny!_

I shook my head, trying not to get side-tracked. I had to get back to the warehouse, to my boys, and start today's mission. I picked up all the clothing items, and merrily skipped outside, jumped into the van driven by, of course, the _driver_, and drove away, eager to show Batsy my new plan.

* * *

><p>CHAPTER 1<p>

Batman POV

I sat in my office in Wayne Industries, going over paperwork and other boring things, wishing I was Batman right now and not Bruce Wayne. Batman would probably be done with this crap _already_ and be out fighting crime by now. Then the clown creeped his way into my mind as he always does.

He creeps into my mind when I least expect it, catching me off guard, and I suddenly find myself wondering what he's doing right about now.

Is he working? Maybe. He's a planner. (Although he just _loves_ to tell everyone he's not-He's a total liar.)

Is he playing around? _Possibly_. He absolutely _loves_ to do that.

He might be sleeping. No…he _never_ sleeps when there's things he could be doing.

Who knows. He's a very unusual man, and very hard to read. So _unpredictable_. It fascinates me, really, the way he _never_ seems to do anything twice. That_ is_ his main motto, after all. One of many, that is.

'Never tell the same joke twice.'

I sighed, knowing that I knew to much about him. It's dangerous.

_Knowing _him is dangerous. And the worst thing is:

I'm _attracted _to him.

Not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally. I fell into his trap. He'd wrapped me into the loop of his twisted mind, still trying to find my breaking point. Trying to find my limits.

I want to know _why_ he does what he does. I want to _help_ him. To _cure_ him. But I know that something like that was probably just a silly dream.

He didn't want help. He probably _enjoyed _the way he was. He often said he was beyond help.

And he was probably right.

You can't help someone if they don't want to be helped.

You can't fight against some one like The Joker's will. It's basically impossible. That man has a strong will to kill, cause chaos, and to live. Without it I definitely would have killed him by now. Every time I knock him down, he always seems to get back up, no matter what. I had broken _every rib_ in his stomach, and he got up, only to elude me once again. He had to have had major internal bleeding, and that would have stopped any normal man.

But that's the thing with the Joker.

He _isn't_ normal.

His face is scared, and he is completely insane.

He's not just insane. He's completely _deranged._

And that's what's fascinating about him. He's completely deranged, yet he retains the intelligence, planning, manipulation, and self-control of any other man. And his intelligence is way above average. I suddenly shake my head, and nearly slapped myself, realizing I had totally gotten off track. I noted to myself that I probably should have kept working, because now I'm behind.

"At this rate I'll be here all night!" I said aloud, to no one in particular. I sighed, and looked out the window, the sunset indicating that my night job was about to begin. I smiled. It wasn't a nice job, but it made me feel _alive._

And I loved every minute of it.

I sighed, and had a strange feeling of excitement. I smiled.

Tonight's gonna be exhilarating. I just know it.


	2. Hugo Strange's Laboratory

Bruce POV

I stood on top of a church steaple, looking over the streets of Gotham City. I had just recently been informed by commissioner Gordan, that the Joker had sent a video to GCN. He was in a large warehouse, with 6 children. 3 with Electric Collars, and 3 suspended over a pool of noxious acid. I sighed. I had already located the warehouse. I had to get there quickly. Joker had given one of each of the children a button to kill the other group. Exactly what he'd done with the people on the ferry boats.

He was still trying to prove something. But why was he trying to do it with children? To show children can be corrupt, just like we are? To show us the curve that's coming. The one he was talking about? Was that it?

I was gliding over Gotham now, and was feet away from the warehouse.

CRASH!

I tumbled through the glass roof, and landed in between the 2 sets of children. I began unbuckling the children above the acid, and then unstrapped the children in the collars. The collars came off easily, with a barely audible 'pop'.

"Where's the Joker and Harley?" I asked one of the children, hoping they'd seen where they went. One of the children, a small girl, slowly pointed to a room. The door was slightly ajar, and a muffled 'Umph' came from inside. I opened the door slowly, only to find Harley, tied up, feet dangling inches from the concrete floor, with tape across her mouth. Her eyes were huge, and she was crying. That startled me, and I pulled the tape from her mouth.

"Harley, what happened?" I questioned her, as her lip quivered, black lines from her make-up staining her face. "They…it's…uh-ah," She continued to cry and tilted her head in the direction to my left; alerting my attention to the Joker's situation. He was tied up the same way as Harley, excluding the fact that they'd tied him upside down, his hair dangling on the floor. He was staring at me avidly, smiling under the tape that covered his mouth. His face was a bright shade of red, probably because he'd been hanging upside down for some time.

I looked at him quizzically, and approached him.

_Is this a trap? I don't trust Joker._

I leaned down, and pulled the tape from his mouth with a loud _rip_!

"Joker, what's the meaning of this?" I growled at him. He smiled back, and opened his mouth to say something, and then did something strange. The smile faded, and he closed his mouth, before swallowing hard, his eyes looking at something beyond me.

His eyes glinted for a moment, before they shot back up to me. Something in his eyes told me that something was wrong here. Very wrong. His eyes said, 'run'. I turned around swiftly, before blacking out, and falling into darkness.

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes slowly, looking around. At first everything was blurry, but as it cleared, I caught site of a door. It was barred. Like a dungeon. And I assumed that's what it was. The floor was stone, as were the walls. There was a little bit of straw on the floor, and a bucket I presumed was the lavoratory. I sighed, and looked to my left. I jumped at the sight. Joker was there, at the other side of the cell, chained to a wall. He was stripped of all his weapons, and they'd left him in the gray undershirt he always wore under his suit. His purple suit pants they'd allowed him to keep. Blood was slowly flowing from a gash in his green air, indicating he'd put up some kind of a fight. He was unconscious now. My belt had been removed, but otherwise, I was completely clothed. They'd also ripped out my communications system.<p>

"Ugh." Joker began to stir, and regain his consciousness. He was still unaware of my presence, so I jumped to the top of the cell, and hung there, just watching him. He took a look at his chains, and seemed to growl at them, while he surveyed the room. He saw a large piece of straw, and tried feebly to pull it to him, before he gave up. He grabbed his left thumb with his left forefinger, and then _crack!_ He pulled it out of it's joint, before pulling his hand from the cuff. He snapped that finger back, before doing the same with the other hand. He suddenly smiled.

"They got you to, eh, bats?" I jumped, wondering how he knew I was there.

I jumped down, landing inches away from him. With a fluid motion, I grabbed his neck.

"What _did you do_, Joker?"

He looked offended at the question. "_Me?_ I had nothing to do with it? Don't you think if this was _my_ fault, I'd be up in a nice comfortable room…INSTEAD OF IN A FUCKING DUNGEON?" His loud, angry tone surprised me. Joker was usually never angry, and he very rarely, almost _neve_r, swore.

'This has nothing to do with me!" Joker yelled rather loudly, seemingly offended by my accusation. He continued his rant. "I tried to _warn_ you! But _nooooo,_ you wouldn't even pay _attention_! That small _BAT brain_ of yours didn't really _help you_, now did it? _You're_ the reason we're_ in_ here! If you'd _listened_ to me, we could've avoided this whole _situation!_ But _NOOOOO,_ BAT BRAIN DIDN'T PAY_ ATTENTION_!" He pulled back a fist, and I grabbed it easily.

"Joker, stop it and listen! I hate this as much as you do okay? I don't want to be here with you either, so let's just try and make the best of it?"

* * *

><p>Joker POV<p>

He let go of my hand, and turned away. "I don't mind being here with _you._" I mumbled, as he walked to the other side of the cell.

"What?" Batman asked, turning around. I jumped; startled, and scratched the back of my head, smiling. "Oh, nothing, nothing, it's nothing! Forget it! Like I didn't even say anything, OK?" He gave me a weird face, before going back to the other side of the cell. I sighed.

2 Days Later….

My stomach growled loudly, as I looked around wearily. We were fed scamps of bread, and cups of water every 2 hours. I was dirty; matted in dirt and grime. Even _I _was never that dirty in my entire life. Batsy was across the room. He'd dropped a few pounds, but was still as muscular as ever. His stomach was growling just as mine. He must be hungry too. Then it hit me.

_We were going to die here._

A wave of something like anger, or protectiveness, waved over me, as I looked at _my _Batsy. I growled, utterly angry. We had to get out of here. Where were we anyways? Just then a large burly man stepped in front of our cell, waking Batman.

"Well, today's your lucky day, Joker!" The mans laughed a deep, harty, laugh, that reminded me of Santa.

_I hate Santa. _

The man stepped into the cell, and roughly grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet. "How'd you get out of your cuffs?" I just smirked in amusement. "Let's go." I looked back at Bats, a look of dread was plastered on my face. I wasn't scared, but I think I knew who was in charge, and the damn guy _freaked me out._

The big burly man led me through a brick corridor filled with the same cells as ours, all filled with people. I recognized some of them as my missing henchman. _Damnit, no wonder I could never find them. Hahaha_! As we rounded a corner, a spotted a pile of dead bodies. My heart sank.

_Oh, damn. We're in deep shit._

The man pulled me into a white-washed room, with a mirror and various torture tools, and the such. _Well, torture tools to me, doctor tools to others._

_I have a problems, I know._

I sat there for a few minutes, before I heard the opening of a door. In the mirror I could see the doctor known as Hugo Strange, enter the room. He smiled as he sat in front of me. "So, Joker, is it? I'm Dr. Strange. It's a pleasure to meet you in person. I've heard so much about you."

I smiled politely. "Nice to meet you to, Strangey! Say, mind tellining _me_ what all these _torture tools_ and whatchimacallits and doodads are for? Are you planning on, uh, _playing_ a _little game? I bet I know who'd wiiiiin."_ He just smiled.

"There for the patients' exams. You are a patient now to, Mr. Joker. You and The Batman himself."

"Now, Mr. Joker, is it true that you can read almost everyone?"

I smiled. "Got that right, Strangey! Why?"

"Do you have a master degree in pshycology?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No! My degree was in…._in_…did I even _go_ to college? I don't remember! Sorry, out of luck this time strangey!_"_

Strange frowned. "Could you please refer to me as Dr.?"

I shook my head. _"Strangey_ sounds much better don't you think!" I leaned a little closer. "I mean, for a _Doctor_ of your…_stature."_

Dr. Strange's face went white, then twisted in anger, his face going red. "Why you decrypted, low-life, criminal, FREAK! How dare you question my practice! Gaurds!"

The big burly man returned, along with a skinnier one.

"Get him out of here. Teach him some manners first." Then with a swish of his hand, he left the room and disappeared. I looked at the guards, who were rolling up their sleeves. I panicked, instinct taking over. I crouched low, and cracked my neck, ready for a fight. Although I already knew I wasn't going to win.

* * *

><p>Batman POV<p>

I heard Joker's maniacal cackling echoing through the dungeon-like prison cell. All other prisoners hushed, as we listened. His cackling went on for a while, along with the yells of some guards. Was he trying to escape? Then suddenly, with a 'GAH!', the cackling stopped. The prisoners remained quiet, the thought of their _idol,_ falling battle stunned them.

_Joker…what happened?_ I thought. I was at the cell bars, trying to see through them, as was every body else. I heard the _tik tik tik_ of footsteps, silently hoping it was Joker. My heart sank as I saw the figures approach. The large burly guard had something slung over his shoulder.

A body.

Dressed in purple.

It was Joker.

All the prisoners gasped and gaped. As they got closer, I backed away from the door. The guard opened the door, and threw Joker inside. I rushed to catch his head, to keep it from smashing into the stone floor, succeeding in my feat.

Joker's nose was broken, one of his painted dark eyes was swelled shut, his cheekbone, eyebrow, and lip were all split. He had cuts and bruises all over his legs, arms, and face. And he had broken fingers. The fingers and the bruises and cuts on his arms and legs, indicated he tried to defend himself from the blows. A long bruise wound around his neck. Someone had been choking him. I held his head, looking him over. His eyes opened quickly, as he looked at me.

"Are you OK?" I asked, truly and sincerely concerned. He just shoved me away and began to _attempt_ to stand, swaying back and forth as he gained his balance.

"I'm fine! I'm fine…" He shook his head back and forth, trying to shake it off.

"Joker, you need to tell me what happened." He whirled around quickly, and shoved he me into a wall, getting extremely close to my face.

"You want me to _tell you_, Bats? Fine, I'll _tell _you! Strangey—Dr. Hugo Strange asshole decided to _probe me_ with questions," he shook his head up and down, if saying yes, looking at me sincerely, "I _hate _questions, I made a rude remark regarding his _stature_ as a doctor, and he had his bloody, body guards fatso and tiny beat me to hell and back!" He let go of me, and took a step backward, smiling innocently. "Kay?"

"Joker we need to go. Hugo Strange almost always eradicates his patients. We need to go." I repeated 'we need to go', so he would understand the importance of leaving.

Joker smirked a smirk of anguish. "And how do you _plan to do that_, my dear _delusional Dark Knight_?" He smiled. It was a fake smile.

"I was hoping _you'd_ know. Considering you've escaped Arkham over 100 times." He looked surprised, then smiled. "Nice _comeback_ Bats! It was, it was a good one!" He began to laugh. "Uh, gimme an hour to think, then come ask me later." He walked over to the other side of the cell, and sat down to contemplate.

We were in serious trouble here.


	3. A Plan to come up with a Plan Part 1

Bruce POV

I got up off the cold, hard, floor, and stretched my limbs. It had been about an hour now, and I had, after long debate, decided to go over and ask Joker if he had come up with a plan yet. I surveyed the room, before sauntering over to the other side of the cell. Joker was sitting there, fiddling with a piece of dirty straw, and looked up as I approached.

"_Yeees_?" He asked in a sing-song tone, smiling widely at my approach. His bad mood must have diminished over the hour.

I frowned. "What do you mean, Yes? Did you come up with a plan, or _not_?"

He looked at me a moment, as if considering whether to tell me or not. Finally he spoke. "I _did_…" He looked at me, and then looked away, avoiding eye contact, and letting out barely audible giggles. I growled.

"Joookkkeeer…"

"OK! You got me! Well, I did come up with a plan! Well—sort of!...Ok, Half a plan…OK NO PLAN!" He grimaced and rolled his eyes, before smiling again. "More like I came up with a plan to come up with a plan!" He exclaimed, raising an eyebrow and turning his head to the side, as if he expected me to do something.

I just kept frowning.

"What…the…_hell,_does that _mean_?" I was almost screaming at him now. We were in a very bad situation right now, and he thought it was a good time to joke around? I wondered if he even understood what kind of a situation we were in. Or maybe he was just trying to ignore it.

Maybe he was scared.

Joker's eyes flashed in anger for a moment, and then he giggled. "I meant what I said _Bats,__" _He spat my name, as if I were as despicable as him,_ "__I_ came up with a plan to come up with a plan. Just what I said, see?" Then he stopped, as if my question suddenly dawned on him. "_OOOOOOHHHHH_! You want me to _explain!_ Well," his tone was shaking now, as if he would burst out laughing any minute, "the plan is this: When they take you out—and I know they will—I sneak out. Because, I've noticed, that when a prisoner is with the doctor, all the guards except for one disappear. So I'll sneak out, snoop around, and get back here before they bring you back."

I thought for a moment, and gave him a strange look. "How do you plan on getting out?" Joker smiled a mischievous glint in his eye.

"You don't need to worry about that, Bats. Just _trust me_!" He gave an exaggerated arm motion, before growing quiet and yawned loudly and obnoxiously.

I considered his plan for a moment, and then agreed. "Fine. They'll be here tomorrow no doubt. Be ready." And with that, I crossed the cell back to my side

I needed rest.

* * *

><p>The next day…<p>

Joker POV

I was rudely awoken by metal harshly scraping against stone, as the two guards from before walked into the cell. The Santa one spoke first.

"Well, Batman, today's your lucky day," He continued to talk, as he pulled _my_ Bats off the ground, and threw him forward. "Dr. Strange will see you today." The man gave me the evil eye, before, taking Bats and locking the barred door. I sighed.

"Freaking' git."

My head was pounding, as if someone was smacking me with a hammer. My eyes hurt, as if someone was behind them, jabbing them with pencils.

I made a move to stand, but was taken by a wave of vertigo, my vision going void of light, and stars dancing before my eyes. A million different thoughts crashed back and forth in my head like a hurricane, making the constant pounding unbearable, and causing a very loud ringing to begin in my ears.

I hadn't planned on this.

The thoughts kept going and going endlessly, me being unable to grasp any of them. As if I was trapped in my own mind. The voices in my head were screaming, and laughing, and shouting at me. Making the tornado in my head even worse. I began to laugh. Not because I was happy, or something was funny; but because I was in pain, and I was confused, not sure of what to do. And suddenly it stopped. Just as it had started.

"Ooooohhh, thank _god._Well, that was an unexpected delay," I said to no one in particular, standing and righting my self, smoothing out my wrinkled and dirty shirt, "but, no worries! I still have plenty of time!" I giggled, as I merrily skipped my way to the door, humming a tune.

I looked out, only to see the guard standing at the other end of the hall. I smiled. "Ooooohhhh GAAAAAAUUUURRRDD!" I called after him in a sing-song voice, smashing my cut up face into the bars of the cell door.

"What do you want clown?" The man approached. He was the skinny guy from yesterday. I smirked. He'll get what he deserves. He deserves his very own punch line! I giggled once more, before I batted my eyelashes, and cleared my throat.

"Do you remember your _buddy_?" The man looked confused for a moment, before his eyes widened.

"He was my brother, you Fag! What about him!" His eyes flashed with anger, and his face began to turn red—His hands on the gun tightening.

"I killed him..."

"I know."

I licked my lips, and smiled. "You wanna _know_ why I use a knife?" I shook my head up and down, looking at him sincerley, "It's so you can see all the little emotions, you'd miss with a gun! Sooo," I licked my lips again, "technically I knew your _brother_ better than _you _ever _did.__"_

The man's face was warped in anger, glaring at me with such _hatred!_ I looked into his eyes….and saw fear. He was angry, and afraid. And it was oh so satisfying.

"Do you wanna _know _something about him?"

"SHUT _UP_!" He bellowed; practically shaking now, sweat pouring down his face, fingers tapping the gun repeatedly.

I smiled. When you know which buttons to press, people get mad real fast. And this was having the desired effect. I could read this man like a book.

"Your brother…" I began, drawing it out for effect, "was a coward."

The man finally broke. He lost it as he flung the door open.

And then he was upon me. He launched a fist at my face, and I skillfully slid under his legs, stage-show style. I stood up, and was met with a surprisingly hard punch to the face, as I staggered with my hand on my nose.

_Underestimated him a little…_

The man was standing a few feet away now. My eyes darted to him jut as he reached for his gun.

I ran at him with lightning speed, grabbing the tip of the gun, and wrenching it from the shoulder strap on his arm.

The man squealed pathetically as he shoulder broke with an audible *crunch*, and staggered to the wall.

I laughed at him, and it enraged the man further. He lunged at me in one last fit of rage.

I did a cartwheel to the right, and…as he turned around to face me, I jumped him, and at the same time spraying Joker Toxin into his eyes.

He squealed and squirmed endlessly, putting his hands up in blindness, grasping at nothing. I pinned his arms with my knees, and stared into his face.

I looked into his eyes right before I pressed my thumbs into them.

And saw Fear and Utter Horror.


	4. A Plan to Come Up with a Plan Part 2

Bruce POV

I was handcuffed, and sitting in a room filled with mirrors. Dr. Strange walked in, and sat in the chair directly in front of me. I stared, surveying him. He had a short, brown beard, blue eyes, and was wearing a lab coat. He looked around 50. He smiled warmly, and un-cuffed me.

"Hello, Batman. I'm Dr.—"

"Dr. Strange. I know."

He gave me a strange look, before continuing. "I plan on diagnosing your mental state, Batman. And perhaps curing you." I growled at him.

"There's _nothing_ wrong with me!" Stange only smiled.

"Oh, how wrong you _are_, Batman."

I only glared.

* * *

><p>Joker POV<p>

I had successfully dragged the body into a nearby cell, overpowering the inmates in it. I planned on dumping the death on them. After all, the only blood on me was my own, and I'd long since cleaned it up. I began aimlessly walking the stone hall, looking at cells, windows, closets. I walked up some stone stairs, and came to the room where I had been. I peered into the window. Dr. Strange was sitting there with Batman, and the big, burly guard stood beside him. I quickly ducked away. I continued down the hall, and spotted one of my henchmen in the body pile. He had a large hole in his head, grayish-brain matter hung loosely, falling over the other bodies. My stomach lurched, and I made a face.

"Oh, how _unfortunate._ Such a _terrible_ end…I mean, even for me! And I'm pretty sick!" I rambled on, continuing to discuss what I had seen with myself, as I continued past the disgusting pile of bodies. I had never been in this hall before, have I? No, I haven't.

The hall ended, ahead of me, and I looked at the three remaining doors in the corridor. Two on doors on the left, and one on the right. I took the right on first. As I walked, I was astounded. I desk was at the far wall, pictures of the human brain where all over the walls, bags of medical equipment scattered in numerous piles, files for every patient in here, and bags of the patients personal items.

This must be Dr._Strangey__'__s _office…

I went to the desk, and searched the drawers, coming up with basically nothing. Medical files, files from Blackgate, files from Arkham…Wait, files from Arkham? I pulled the drawer all the way out, and fingered my way through, until I found the file I was looking for, and pulled it out.

The cover read this:

CLASSIFIED! SPECIFIED PERSSONEL ONLY!

Name: Unknown, The Joker,

I opened the file to the first page:

OFFENSES STATED IN THE COURT OF LAW

Name: Unknown, The Joker,

Offenses: 55 counts of Theft, 302 counts of racketeering, 115 counts of Unlawful Behavior, 300 counts of Inappropriate Conduct in Public, 90 counts of Disturbing the Peace, 75 counts of Terroristic Threat, 62 counts of Shoplifting, 506 counts of Wielding Un-Registered Firearms, 48 counts of Vandalism, 715 counts of Grand Theft Auto, 26 counts of Rioting, 672 counts of Wielding Terroristic Items, 115,289 counts of Terroristic Actions, 102 counts of Repeated Escape from Containment, 345 counts of Attempted Murder of a Federal Police Officer, 212 counts of Murder of a Federal Police Officer, 3 counts of Attempted Murder of a Federal Court Judge, 2 counts of Murder of a Federal Court Judge, 593,679 counts of Attempted Murder, 399,852 counts of Murder, 60 counts of Impersonating a Federal Officer and Marine, 16 Counts of Attempted escape from Prison, 20 counts of escape from prison, 9,000 counts of Helping other prisoners escape, 2 counts of Attempted Murder of a Federal Police Commissioner, 1 count of Murder of a Federal Police Commissioner, 689,974 counts of Lying to a Federal Police Officer, 891 counts of Breaking and Entering, 700 counts of conspiracy,etc.

I smiled at my accomplishments. Frankly, I was quite proud of what I accomplished. Let's see _anyone else_ try to do all that stuff! I flipped the Page again.

PATIENT INFORMATION

Name: Unknown

Persona: The Joker

Status: Super-Criminal

Facility: Intensive Treatment

Doctor:Dr. Young, Dr. Casey, Dr. Quinzel, etc.

Diagnosis: Numerous; Undecided:

Schizophrenia, Multi-Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Sociopathic, Psychopathic, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Extreme Paranoia, Suppressed Memory Syndrome, Childhood Trauma, Mental Trauma or Strain, (possibly form traumatic childhood, or traumatic experienceses), Etc.

*NOTE: Extremely Dangerous. Selected Personnel only. Do NOT approach patient without guard. Patient can give the impression of harmlessness, or even charm. STAY AWAY!

I smiled in satisfaction once more.

_These people are really trying, aren't they? _

_**Yes.**_

_I don't think they get it._

_**No, they don't.**_

_They never will, will they?_

_**No, never. They'll never understand what I've been through! **_

_No. What I've been through…_

_**Yes.**_

_What if they could understand? What if I'm not alone?_

_**They won't! They can't! No one can understand! You're alone. You only have me. Your security blanket, remember? I'm here with you…I'm all you need.**_

_Yes. That is right. What about Batman? He understands…doesn't he?_

_**NO! He doesn't! He doesn't care. He would just throw me back into Arkham Asylum! **_

_So…in the end he must die?_

_**NO, YOU IDIOT! Me and Batman…We die together, remember? In the last Joke…my last punch line…you remember now?**_

_Yes…yes…**I **must die…I don't want to die…_

_**Yes you do. Remember?**_

_Oh…yes…I do now…I don't like it here…So much pain…_

_**That's why I'm here…TO HELP YOU.**_

_Yes. I know. _

_**Now shut up and tell me what to do! I need your brain!**_

_Yes…I'm thinking. We need to take both files. Do you understand me? Take both of them. So they can't link them._

_**Yes…I…understand. **_

_Take the file…yes, that' It! That one! What does it say?_

_**CLASSIFIED! SPECIFIED PERSONNEL ONLY!**_

_**Name: Napier, Jack**_

_Yes…now open it. We have to hurry, time, remember?_

_**Yes.**_

_READ IT! _

_**OFFENSES STATED IN THE COURT OF LAW**_

_**Name: Napier, Jack**_

_**Persona: The Red Hood**_

_**112 counts of Aggravated Assault, 12 counts of Assault Due to Mis-Interpreted Intentions, 12 counts of Vandalism, 13 counts of Conspiracy, 10 counts of Attempted Murder of a Federal Officer, 12 counts of Grand Theft Auto, 216 counts of Theft, 302 counts of Breaking and Entering, 2 counts of Rioting, 3 counts of Starting a gang, 1 count of owning an un-registered firearm, etc.**_

_Good, good, now keep going._

_**PATIENT INFORMATION**_

_**Name: Napier, Jack**_

_**Persona: The Red Hood**_

_**Status: Petty Criminal; Gang leader**_

_**Facility: Arkham Asylum Correctional Facilities.**_

_**Doctor: Various**_

_**Diagnosis: Undecided; Possibly just Aggresion; Possibly nothing. Shizophrenia, Paranoia, duel personality disorder, etc.**_

_***Note: Escaped Patient. Presumed dead due to accident. Body NOT found. Burial held. Most likely dead.**_

_Great, alright, get some Joker Cards, THE SHARP ONES, and the rest of my suit, and check the other rooms. I saw a map in one of them_

_**Gotcha. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!**_

I burst out laughing, cackling quietly.

* * *

><p>Bruce POV<p>

"So, Batman…" He paused for a moment as he rummaged through a bag at his feet. He pulled out a sheet of paper and a pencil with a soft point, "I have you and Joker both here for a reason. I'm testing you both. Now please fill out this survey." He handed me the paper, and the pencil. I looked at the survey for a moment, then began to fill it out.

Name: Batman

Do you have kids? –No

Do you want kids?-Eventually, yes

Would you want your child to be your successor?-No

If yes would you train him or her?-No

What is your favorite color?-Black

What is your favorite Hobby(s)?-Fighting Crime, Working out, Studying

What are your political Views?-Fairness, and Justice. A political government run by the people. Sound and Sturdy.

Do you remember your childhood?-yes

Was it pleasant?-Yes and No.

Has anyone close to you died?-Yes

Who raised you?-Parents, Butler

I handed it back to Dr. Strange. He looked at it, and smiled. "Now look at this." He showed me the exact same survey.

Name: Joker

Do you have kids?-No

Do you want Kids?-Just one.

Would you want your child to be your successor?-Yes

If yes would you train him or her?-Yes

What is your favorite color?-Purple. Green also. Mostly purple.

What is your hobby(s)?-Comminting crime, endangering Gotham, Working out, Studying, Making Toxin and Bombs

What are your political views?-Gotham should be ruled by a single entity; It should be ruled by me! And consist of Chaos! A whole lot of Chaos.

Do you remember your childhood?-Sort of

Was it pleasant?-Don't think so

Has anyone close to you died?-I think so

Who raised you?-Dad, I think, No one

I stared.

"Do you see Batman? They are similar, yet different. I am trying to deduce something. But do you see it now, Batman? The mental patterns? You are sort of one and the same. Joker was some what right. You are similar, yet you are different. Like Yin-and-Yang."

The man's German or French accent made it a little more interesting. "I'm listening."

He continued. "Don't you see Batman? This is why Joker's only dream is to die beside you. Because he has to. Without you, Batman, Joker would truly go berserk. You are his only balance. With out the balance, he would go completely insane. Do you understand? He wants to die beside you because if you die together, he won't have to suffer any longer. Do you understand?"

I was tempted to say Bull shit, but decided against it. I just nodded. "Good, good. We're almost done."

* * *

><p>Joker POV<p>

I had stuffed a map of the dungeon like place into my shirt, and half way down my pants, and I was now on my way back to my cell. "Where do you think you're going?"

I turned around, only to see Santa standing a few feet behind me. "No where special, just going to my cell." I took a step backward. Then ran.

"Hey! Get BACK HERE!" He ran after me. My shoes scuffed the tile a few times, and I almost tripped, I rounded a corner, slipped on something wet, and fell.

I closed my eyes, and caught myself with my hands, landing in a push up position.

I opened my eyes, and let out an extremely loud squeal.

I was staring at the face of a patient. One of his eyes were gone, the other one rested on his chin, His tongue was hanging out of his mouth, partially ripped of, and his nose was squished in. And I had gotten entrails, which were presently located outside of his body, all over my midsection.

I jumped up like and ran like bat outa' hell, screaming the entire time, running like my pants were on fire, shoving and wiping the entrails off of me, and dragging them along down the hall with me.

I ran all the way to my cell.

* * *

><p>Bruce POV<p>

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHH!"

"What in the Sam-Hill!" Dr. Strange got up, and flung the door open, just in time to see Joker running by, screaming his ass of, desperately wiping something off his middle, dragging some ones' intestines behind him. Shortly after he past us, the big burly guard ran by.

"Oh for the love of GOD!" Strange, slapped himself in the face, then turned to me. "You're dismissed go to your cell. If you don't, we'll kill you." Then he shoved me out, and followed after the guard and Joker.

So much for subtlety.


	5. Plan Execution

Bruce POV

As I approached the cell, the guards had already gotten Joker inside. They were standing outside, waiting for my return. As I approached, they shoved me in, locked the door, and left. I scanned the room. Joker was lying at the other side of the room on his stomach, propped up on his left elbow. I gasped.

"Jesus."

His nose was broken again and bleeding, and his face was scraped up. Blood was steadily dripping from his mouth onto the stone floor, with a *drip* *drip* *drip*. His green hair was caked in blood, and it was pooling in his ears. A slow, steady pool of blood was slowly expanding beneath him. I rushed over to him. He was giggling quietly, blood gurgling in his throat.

"Joker, I need you to lean your back against that wall, Ok? I'm going to help you." I reached out to him, only to have my hand swatted away.

"NO! I don't need help! I'm fine!" I shoved him against the wall anyway, and pulled out a cloth from my Batsuit. I began to wipe the blood from him, surveying his wounds. He began to struggle, but stopped after a few seconds "Oh, Jeez." Among his other wounds, he had a large, gash on his stomach. He must've cut it on the cell door when they threw him in. I finished, and stood. He stood with me.

"I thought you said you had a plan! That wasn't part of the plan Joker!"

Joker smiled, and giggled a little bit more, before he spit a glob of blood onto the floor. "No, it wasn't part of the plan, believe me!" He laughed. I just continued glaring.

And frowning.

"So this was just a complete waste of precious time!" I was shaking with anger now, ready to grab him by the throat and shake him back and forth for being the idiot that he was. He laughed again, crazier than the last time. "Not compleeetleeey," he drawled, smiling wide, and pulling a long tube from his pants. He unrolled it, and showed it to me. It was a map. "Aren't you _proud_ of _me_?" He said, ginning, raising an eyebrow, and turning his head, in a very charming manner. Probably expecting me to approve of his actions…I hesitated a moment, before I nodded at him, and handed the map back. "Think of a plan. We'll **talk** tomorrow." I turned and walked away.

"Bats…"

"Bats!"

"Baaaaaats!" I was rudely grabbed by the neck, and shaken roughly back and forth, my head lolling forward and backward.

"WHAT!"

I soft, gloved hand was shot up to my mouth, as the smell of leather and latex filled my nostrils. "Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh! Quiet Bats, you're going to give us away!" The moonlight was shining through the barred window, illuminating his *features, in a kind of attractive way.

(*=I am talking about the Joker portrayed by Batman the animated series(DC comics).

His eyes were darting around crazily, going from the door, to the hall, to the window, to the door, and back again, before he turned to me. "_Now,_I came up with a plan, but _we_ don't have the _time_ for me to tell you. So, you, uh, have to _trust__…__me__…_"He licked his lips, and checked all three subjects once again. "So," He continued, "I'm going to let you go, you're to be _quiet,_and do exactly as I say. _Exactly._ OK?"

I glared at him, and nodded, still examining his moonlit features, and perfectly trimmed green hair. He nodded back at me repeatedly, licking his lips, and looking around again. "Now, once we're outside, we're going to, uh, have to be _extra_ careful. _Apparently_, we were taken a little farther than I thought. So, listen to _exactly_what I say, and we should make it out alive, got it?"

I nodded, and suddenly remembered something. I shoved his white gloved hand away from my mouth, and started, "Where is Harley?" Joker didn't seem to hear me. He just continued to stare intently at the door way. His eyes bulged suddenly, and he grabbed my arm. "We have to hide! There's this _thing_ that prowls the halls. If it catches you awake, it _kills__you._" He let go of me, and moved like lightning. He looked up at the ceiling rafters, for a second, before backing up, running at the wall, and jumped off, flying through the air, before smacking into a rafter. It winded him. I could hear him wheeze, as he pulled himself onto to it. He looked at the door again, then back at me. There was _no _smile on his face. He lied across the rafter, and put his arm down for me to grab.

I was surprised he'd even do something _remotely _like that. But, I guess when _his _life depends of _my _life, he'll do anything.

Selfish Bastard.

I quickly ran over to him, and grabbed hold of his arm. He hauled me up with surprising strength. It was hard for him to pull me up, I could tell, because he made a sound of relief when I grabbed the rafter with my free hand. He helped me up, and walked to the other side of the rafter, crouched down like a Tiger ready to pounce, hidden in the shadows, his eyes reflecting in the dim light. He looked at me once, as if to reassure himself I was still there, before looking back at the door.

I could hear footsteps and whishing, as if a spirit was crossing the corridor. Once the footsteps had stopped Joker hung down from the rafter by his arms, and dropped silently to the ground. I did the same.

He came up to me quickly. "Ok, listen, don't question _anything _I do. Just watch, and follow, Got it?" I nodded, and he ran to the door. He pulled out a Joker card.

_Where __in __the __hell __did __he __get __that __from?_ I inquired, before the door clicked open. Joker motioned for me to follow, before he stepped into the hall. He pointed straight up, to an air vent. "Up high is better than down low. Not so easy to be spotted. C'mon!" He pulled me forwards. I noticed he had his whole suit on. _Where __did __he__—__oh __forget __it.__His __stuff __just __randomly __appears. _I rolled my eyes, and jumped as he swung the vent gate over my head, and set it on the floor. "How did you-"

"Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta. NO _questions_, remember?" I nodded. He continued to stare at me. I shifted position, feeling uncomfortable in his icy stare. He made an exasperated shoulder movement, and a pouty face. "I need _you,_to, uh, give _me __a __little __boost.__" _He tilted his head in the direction of the air vent, and then jumped toward it, as if to show me he could not reach it. I sighed.

Joker continued to stare at the vent, as I walked up behind him. I grabbed him by his pelvis and lifted.

"**_GOH_**!" He jerked in my hands, before slapping a hand over his own mouth. He giggled. "Jeez, _Bats_, you could warn a guy before _grabbing __his __hips_!"

"Do you want me to lift you, or not?"

"_**Yeah**_."

"Then shut your mouth, and get in the damn vent." I lifted him higher, and he crawled his way into the vent, stepping on my head in the process. I felt like punching him in the face, but rejected the thought. He knew how to get out. I didn't. I needed to control myself at least until we were outside. He vanished for a few seconds, before reappearing. "C'mon now, Bats, get a move on!" He outstretched his gloved hand once more, for me to grab. He hauled me up, and we crawled our way through the vent, until he stopped at a four way intersection. He looked puzzled.

"Which way now, genius?" I asked him, scoffing at his stupidity.

"Left, it's always_ left_." With that, he crawled to the left. He continued to crawl at a surprisingly slow speed. It all happened quickly. A crack resounded and echoed in the air vent, and Joker let out a long strand of curses. Then the vent collapsed. The air tumbled around me, as a fell through the air. I landed on the cold, icy, ground. I gasped for air, but to no avail, as a lead weight dropped right onto my stomach. The air escaped me once again. The weight that held me down was shaking profusely. I realized, agitated, that the weight was giggling. Joker looked up into my face. He was giggling, his eyes wide, as if he'd just smoked some pot.

"That was fun! Wasn't it Bats? Luckily, I had a soft landing!" He patted me on the stomach, and rolled of. The area he'd been laying on he'd left tingling. I sat, up, not very happy, and realized we were presently sitting 10 feet away from an extremely high slope. The slope slanted at a seventy degree angle, and a door was at the bottom. Joker looked at me, then the slope, then back at me.

"We going down there?" He asked.

"Yep."

"Is it going to hurt?"

"Probably."

"Yaaaay…" He said sarcastically, and smiled at me. "Thanks for the landing, by the way!" He shot me a killer smile, and for a second he seemed charming, but I immediately banished the thought. He was my enemy, and I had to realize that. No matter how charming or caring he seemed now, he would be my enemy again later. "Your welcome." I growled in return, and he banished the words with a flick of his wrist. "Well, if we have to go down there, we should probably do it before daylight. No doubt they will be looking for us in the morning. Plus, they might have guards patrolling the border of the building. We're about 3,000 miles from any city around. I don't know how far we are from Gotham, but I _do_ know that that place down there could take us to the closest city. We need to move, but _be_ careful, any slip or trip, could be fatal. Okay?"

I was astounded. His insanity seemed to have vanished as he talked. As if the _real,__sane_, Joker was talking to me now. Maybe it was just because of the circumstance. "Okay. Let's get going." Joker began to climb down and…*BANG*! A gunshot rang through the night air. Joker shot me a terrified look, before the rocks under his feet gave way.


	6. Fixation 101

Bruce POV

There was a gunshot, and Joker sent me a terrified look, right before the rocks underneath his feet gave way.

He gave an "Oooup!" And began to tumble down the hill. His arms were covering his entire head, and he bounced and tumbled down the slope, hitting rocks; jagged rocks, pointy rocks, all kinds of rocks. He laughed maniacally the whole way down.

Joker POV

I began to tumble, as I covered my head. Head trauma would definitely incapacitate me. I tumbled down, hitting rocks all along the way.

_So much for being careful!_

I cursed as I hit a particularly jagged rock, sending shooting pain through my left side. This always happens. Anytime anything happens, I end up getting the worst of it. I could remember—though it was still slightly foggy—Getting the shitty end of everything even _before_ I'd become the Joker.

_Man life sucks. _

I flipped over backwards, landed on a jaggy rock, and a burning sensation shot up my spine. I continued to tumble, the world and the sky tumbling around me. I couldn't tell which way was up, and which way was down. I continued to tumble and flail, the sensations of pain jutting through me began to grow duller, and duller, until my body just went numb. Finally, I hit the bottom. I did a back flip, landed, and did another back flip, before landing on my face.

_I hope they weren't shooting at **me**…_

I opened my eyes slowly, looking around. Bats was slowly sliding his way down the slope, coming slowly nearer, following my direct path down the slope. I had knocked rocks loose, and had left a trail of flattened dust and stones all the way down. My vision began to fuzz, and grow hazy. I went to rub my eyes, but found it impossible to move. Had I broken my spine?

No, no, I would have felt and heard it. I had a heavy weight on my stomach. That was it. A rock had me pinned to the ground. I took one more look at Bats, who was at the bottom of the slope and running toward me. I gave him one faint smile, before I passed out.

I opened my eyes, and looked around at my surroundings. I was in a house, staring at a man of exactly my height. He had brown hair, and green eyes, and was wearing a navy blue suit, with a white shirt, blue tie, and Italian shoes. He was talking to a woman who appeared to be pregnant, in a very shaking tone. The man was crying.

I walked closer, and examined the man. He was hugging the woman around the waist, kneeling on the floor, and bawling his eyes out.

"Oh, how _pathetic!__"_ I scoffed at the man, and stared at the woman closely. The purple in her maternity dress, her hazel eyes, and brown hair. Her name was Jeanie, I believe.

Jean…Jeanie…Jean_ie__…__the_ name rang in my ears—as if I'd heard if before—I have, I think. Yes, I have. I closed my eyes and thought hard about the name. I thought hard about where I was. I knew this place. I knew it. It was somewhere in my deranged mind. Then I found it.

This place had been my home. I had lived in this small, stinky, apartment. I looked around, surveying—trying to get as much knowledge as possible before the dream was gone. The roof leaked, and a drop of water smacked me in the face. The man on his knees continued to squeal and cry, saying things like "Oh, _**baby**_, I'm sorry!", and "Oh, _**god,**_ Jeanie, I'm so sorry!"

I stepped in front of the man, and looked at his features. He had an angular nose, large green eyes, and a pointed chin—the features made him out to be quite charming. The woman, Jeanie, smiled, and pulled the man up to her face, and kissed him gently. "It's okay, honey, I'm here. I know you're upset, but there's _nothing_you can do! I think it was very brave to chase after your dreams." The man stared at her silently, going over the words that his apparent _wife_ had said. "Yeah, I guess your right, Jeanie. But what about the baby! I had such a good job at the chemical plant, and I gave it up for something stupid! I gave it up to be a _**comedian,**___baby! Do you know how hard it is to stand up there, and tell a joke, and nobody laughs? They threatened to _fire_me today, because I got nervous and messed up a _**punch**____**line!**__**"**_ The man broke into tears once again, burying his head in his wife's lap. I practically burst out laughing.

"OH, this is utterly _**pathetic!**_ Boo-hoo, I messed up a punch line! Big DEAL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I burst out laughing at the man, so pathetically scrunched up on the floor, crying his eyes out in his pregnant wife's lap. Jeanie pulled the man's face up once again, and wiped away the tears. "C'mon, _Jacky,_brighten up! It will get better, I promise!" I stopped dead at the name of the man. I'd _heard_that name before.

Jacky…Jack-y…Jack…Jack Na…Jack Napi…Jack Napier…

The woman smiled gently once again, and caressed the man's face, wiping the tears from his face once again. "Hey, Jack…Jack, why don't you tell me a joke? I love your jokes. You know they always make me laugh."

The man, Jack's, face broke into a smile, and he looked up at his wife. "About what?" He turned his face charmingly to the side, and raised an eyebrow.

Jeanie put her hand to her chin, as if deep in thought. The she smiled. "Okay, tell me a blonde joke!"

Jack's smile seemed to expand, into the biggest smile I'd ever seen—other than mine, of course—and he thought for a moment, before telling the joke.

"Okay, so…there are these three blondes, trapped on an island. An-And they can't get off it, ya'see? So they search the island, and they…they find a genie, see? And he agrees to grant them three wishes. The first blonde wishes for a boat, to sail back to …back…to…the mainland! So see sails off, and gets back home. The second, wishes for a plane, to fly to the mainland. So, she takes off…to the…mainland," the man swallowed hard, before continuing, "So she gets home. The third blonde, asks to be the smartest person in the world. And she walks across the bridge. THE END. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The man began to laugh, and after a moment, so did the woman. I laughed with them. "See, honey, your jokes are funny."

"The man looked at her, and gently kissed her. Don't worry baby, I have a plan to get the money we need to move out. I promise I'll get it no matter what."

Then it dawned on me.

_I…was the man._

Bruce POV

I moved the boulder off of him. It wasn't big enough to hurt him, but it _was_big enough to restrict movement. Joker was shaking, and crying his eyes out. I'd only seen him cry once or twice. But it still alarmed me to see the tears flowing out of his eyes. "Joker, c'mon, wake up. We have to go, NOW!" I shook him, and ripped his mind back to reality.

He opened his eyes, which were red and puffy. "Bats?" He asked wearily, as he looked around, his head swiveling back and forth, as if the world were spinning around him. "Jean...ie…Jeanie…" He was calling some one's name. "Joker, I'm NOT Jeanie! Who is Jeanie? What are you talking about? We have to go!" I lifted him up, and slung him over my shoulders, lifting him off the ground. His body was shivering, evidently cold. "Jeanie…is…my wife…Jeanie…" I made a face. "Your wife? Joker, you don't have a wife! C'mon, snap out of it. Joker curled his body around my neck and shoulders, trying to warm himself.

"She…always…laughs…at my…my jokes…"

I shook my head, still not sure what he was talking about.

"Who is 'She'?"

"You…_**Bats**_…You _**never**_…laugh…at my…at my…jokes…"

He was close to convulsing now, and I was trying to press him as hard as I could against me, to keep him warm. It was freezing out, and, when I opened the door at the bottom of the slope, it was freezing in there, too.

"Fixated."

"Fixated?"

What _was_ he talking about?

"Fixated…fixated …cause…you…nev-never…never laugh…at my Jokes."

And with that, he passed out.

I sighed, and continued walking down the concrete corridor. What in the world had he been talking about? Was he dreaming? He could've been delirious…that was more likely. He had told me he I never laughed at his jokes. Is _that_why he's so fixated on me? Cause I never _talk_ to him? Cause I never _laugh_at his jokes? Ridiculous.

_He_ was ridiculous. I'd talked to the psychiatrists at the asylum many times. They'd said that his fixation on me was not because of his insanity. So what _was_the resean for his fixation?

Maybe….No, I don't think so, but maybe…He was in love with me.

I'd heard people say he acts gay sometimes, but, I mean, that's probably from his insanity. Right? I sighed. I could never figure him out. He seemed to be getting heavier by the minute. There was a small light at the end of the corridor, and a Janitor's room. I turned into the janitor's room. I laid joker on the table, and sat on the floor.

Hadn't he called me cute? Yes, he had. When he'd caught me up in one of his hideouts, he said it over the intercom.

'Get your _cute_ little ass over to the main hall, now!'

I remembered it clearly. He'd said it in front of _everyone_ in the building. It was embarrassing. There had been _cops_ in that building. COPS! He had no shame. I've only seen him embarrassed one time. That was when he'd had the trophy stuck on his head, and I'd pulled his pants down with the grapple by accident. He'd floated down, landed, and was dragged away by the cops, while everybody at his casino watched. _Everybody_had laughed at him. Everybody. As soon as they'd thrown him in the cop truck, he'd shoved the trophy back over his head in embarrassment. I'd laughed at him too. It was funny.

I sighed. I ask him about it tomorrow…right now, I just needed to sleep.

Next Day….

Joker POV

I'd opened my eyes, and sat up, letting my legs dangle off the table. Batsy was lying on the concrete floor in the corner of the room. I stared at him a moment, then rolled my eyes and scoffed at myself. I pulled my suit jacket off, and laid it on him, before going out the door. Every movement I'd made seemed painful. What had happened? Then I remembered falling down the cliff, having that _god-awful_dream, and waking up here. I continued down the corridor, and out into the light.

"Oooooo! Seems like we're gonna need a plane! HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

We were in a city about 400 miles from Gotham. I looked back at the tunnel once more, before stepping outside, and going towards the closest store. Screams followed.


	7. Hitched a Ride

_Bruce POV_

I opened my eyes slowly.

_God, it's cold. _

I shivered. The cold concrete floor was cold. I yawned, and stretched. I guessed that was the best sleep I'd had since we'd been put in that hell-hole. Best I'd get. I had no way of knowing what time it was, but, I guessed that I should get up anyways. I stood, and stretched, walking over to the table to wake my sleeping companion.

"Hey. Time to wake up Jo….ker…" He wasn't there! I searched the whole room, and found nothing. He'd left my cape, the one I had given him to stay warm with, but had left nothing else.

Rage boiled in the pit of my stomach. After all we had done together to get here, he would just pick up and leave me like that!

I knew that I shouldn't have trusted him! I knew that he would do this! Betray me like this! How the hell was I supposed to get home like this?! Oh, when I get my hands on him I'm gonna-

"Psst."

Huh? I looked around, trying to figure out where that sound was coming from. But I was alone.

"Psssssssssst."

"What the hell?" I searched some more, looking for the noise. It sounded like a radio. Or a walkie-talkie.

"Psssssst, Baaaaaaats." Joker? I knew that nickname anywhere. He was the only one that used it. I growled frustrated. Without my equipment and gear, it wasn't as easy to find the stupid thing as it normally would be.

"Bats? _Wow_, you're either _asleep_, or you can't find the walkie. Well, I'm going to go ahead and _assume _you just can't find the radio. Well, if I'm not talking to myself…_ahem_….check under the table."

I bent down, feeling under the wooden table that Joker had been sleeping on earlier, and there, true to his words, was the walkie-talkie, taped with simple electric tape to the bottom of the table.

I pulled it off slowly, feeling the tape rip off the table. I sighed, then pressed the button to speak.

"Joker, where the fuck are you?! I'm telling you if you left me-"

Joker interrupted, "No, no, I didn't leave you. Aaactually, I'm sitting here, waiting for you. We're pretty far from home, so I hitched us a ride, no problem! "

I could just see his face, with that wide smile, just _smiling _at me. I sigh again. "What do you mean you, _hitched _us a ride?"

"Well, ya'see, I got us a plane. _But_, here's the catch. You got exactly about…._hmmmmmm…_ten…minutes? To get here, before, well….we go to jail. So! I hope you get moving quickly! Airport 115 to the west, exit 560 on the highway. You'll see the highway right away. SEE YA!"

And the walkie-talkie buzzed off. Holy Shit, what the fuck? How the hell does he expect me to get all the way there in ten minutes. Then again, I still have my zip line cable…

_Joker POV_

Aaahhh…nothing like relaxing for ten minutes. I stared at the walkie-talkie I was twirling around in my hands. Where _did _I get those? I forgot.

Hahahaha. I was seriously doubting that Bats would be able to get here fast enough. But, that's one of the reasons I loved him so much. He was always full of surprises.

_Always._

Well, between me robbing a bank, then running over here and buying every _single _ticket to this plane, including the pilot's seat, I think the feds would be on their way by now. I'm reeeaaally hoping he'd be here soon.

I sat for a little longer, the little clock in the cockpit ticking every second, the ticking seemingly _oh-so-loudly _in my ears. Then I remembered something. I hadn't told Batsy were the fuck we were parked at!

I reached down for the walkie, and grabbed it, lifting it up to my mouth and pressing the button.

"Oooooohhhh Baaaaatss!" I let go of the button. Silence. Ohp, there he is.

"What?" he said it quickly, as if he were out of breath.

"The uh, _ride, _will be on the far left, only one on the launch ramp."

"A plane? You got us a _plane?_"

"Uhhh, sort of. Just hurry up, OK? You're coming right?" My voice quavered a little bit, but I hoped he didn't hear it. So, to cover it up, I giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way."

"Ok, well hurry _up!_ Get your cute ass _over _here!" And I let go of the button, giggling.

_Yes, he was on his way._


	8. Off We Be to Gotham

_Joker POV_

I sat and hummed a random tune, listening as Batsy opened the door to the small plane, and stepped inside. I giggled. "Well that didn't take long, did it?" Batman was panting hard.

He glared at me. "Yeah, did it have to be so far away?"

I giggled again. "Yeah, it did. Now shut that door tight and lets be off. Before the _fuzz _get here, _hahaha!"_

Batman did as he was told, albeit a little reluctantly. Before grabbing my and throwing me out of the pilot seat. "Heeeey...Bats!" I whined loudly, "I was _sitting _there!"

He turned to glare at me as he sat down heavily, "There is _no _way, in heaven, _or _hell, that I am letting you fly this plane."

I stuck out my lip, and widened my eyes, doing a puppy dog face. "C'mon Bats, let me fly _iiiiit." _

"_NO." _Came the stern answer.

"Awwww..." I got up and brushed the invisible dirt of myself, before getting in one of the seats and buckling up. "_Fine!" _I pouted.

I watched intently as Bats fired up the plane. _I could've done that._

Almost as soon as he fired it up, we were off.

"How long until we get to Gotham?"

"About an Hour."

I sighed. "_Bats, _I getting the feeling you don't really like talking to _me."_


	9. Oops

_Joker POV_

Okay, sooo...Let me fill you in a little bit, oh dedicated readers who for _sure_ must _love_ my wonderfulness. It's been awhile since the last chapter, me and Bats did get home all right, _without _being arrested. So, we got back to the Bat Cave, and Batman did some digging, and figured out that it _was _Dr. Strange indeed, and that he _was _killing his patients. Penguin, Two-Face, (man does _that _guy Creep. Me. Out. I never know which face to look at, _hahaha,) _and a few others have some knowledge on what's going on with Stragey. So, after breakfast of course, we're gonna go interview some people on the matter!

So, without further ado, here is the continuation of the story you've all been waiting for! TA-DA!

_ Bruce POV_

I stretched the sleep from my limbs, as I stood up from my chair at the Bat Computer. It isn't the first time I've fallen asleep during research. I yawned loudly, heading for the elevator up to the mansion. I would think that Alfred had breakfast ready. I was starving.

I stood as the elevator took me up. I sighed. Who in the hell put elevator music into my Bat Cave elevator? I had one guess. The elevator door opened, and I stepped out lazily. I could already smell breakfast. I love breakfast. It's a shame I almost never have the time.

Just as I was about to round the corner to the kitchen, I heard voices. I stopped and listened. Joker, of course, no mistake about that, and...Robin. Damn it...I headed for the kitchen.

"No! That is NOT how it works you stupid creep!"

"Heeey! That wasn't very nice, _Robin!_" Joker spat back.

"Cut it out, both of you." I sighed, plopping myself in a dining room chair. Now I remember just how much I hate mornings.

"Good Morning, Batman!" Robin smiled, as Joker mumbled something that sound like 'good fucking morning', or something to that context. Robin eagerly leaned across the table.

"Guess what! I already helped an old lady into her car, and saved a women whose purse got stolen, _and _I washed the Bat Mobile!"

Robin sat there with a huge grin on his face, obviously waiting for some kind of praise. "Yeah, Great job Robin." I sighed again, grabbing a cup of coffee, sipping in quietly.

"Ha! You hear _that_, Joker! _I _already did a bunch of awesome stuff! What have _you _done today?"

Joker smiled widely. "I killed a little boy."

"What? Who? When?" Robin asked, obviously confused.

"Just now!" Joker went to grab him.

"I said knock it off!"

They both stopped, Robin in mid dodge and Joker in mid grab. I sighed deeply. They both glared, but returned to there seats.

"Okay, now if you both are done, I'd like to get a jump on today. Robin, go...do...something you normally do. Joker, go get in the Bat Mobile."

They both sighed, but did as they were told. "God they're annoying."

"What was that Batman?" Robin stuck his head back in the dining room.

"Go!"

"Yes sir!" Robin ran off. Probably to the teen tinies or whatever. Okay, time for work.

_ Joker POV_

I sighed, and shifted position in the Bat mobile. Again.

"Damn it Joker stop it! I'm trying to drive." I laughed loudly.

"Well _sorry BATS." _

"Whatever..." He glanced over at me and I smiled snidely, "You should buckle up, Joker."

"Haha, what are you? My _mother_?" Just as I said that he jammed the brakes, and I flew up and whacked my head on the dashboard.

"Gah! Owwwwww, Baaaats! That was on purpose, wasn't it?" I laughed rubbing my head, anger flared inside me slightly, but I quickly pushed it away, replacing it with another laugh.

Batman just sighed and looked like he wanted to die. "No it wasn't. I warned you. And we're here. Get Out."

"Hmph. Some good host _you _are," I said, climbing out of the Bat Mobile, trailing behind Batman as he entered the visitors center in Arkham. I giggled, "Hey, hey, Bats?"

Batman sighed. "What now?"

"What would," I giggled, barely able to contain my laughter, "happen if I...stepped on your cape? Hahaha!" Batman just deadpanned. I stopped laughing and frowned. "Sheesh, tough crowd, huh?"

"Just shut up and stay close. Don't try anything funn-" I interrupted him, "Yeah, Yeah, _Don't try anything funny Joker or I'll put you right back in here because I'm a huge buzz kill who doesn't know how to laugh." _I said, impersonating Batman.

He just glared at me. Typical. I did think about stepping on his cape as I followed him through the hall. I _would _be funny. I giggled to myself. Batman stopped suddenly, and I ran into him.

He turned his head. "Watch where you're going, Joker." He took a seat in front of a visitor booth. An inmate was on the other side. He began to talk to them. They seemed more than willing to comply.

Okaaay...Now I'm bored. I looked around innocently, surprised that no one has tried to arrest me yet. Bats must've said something to the warden. Hmmm...I wandered discreetly over to a button...and I obviously have _nooo _idea what it does...I pressed it, and suddenly all the booths opened, and an alarm sounded.

Oops.


End file.
